Your favorite New Yorker and VPM Sales Manager, Nicole Prechtl, writes a sincere note to all significant others in New York City, regarding one of her favorite holidays. As protocol, grab yourself some Advil and we’ll let her take it from here:

A note to all significant others for Valentine’s Day next year:

Please keep the gift giving to the privacy of your own nest. Do not send flowers, teddy bears, or chocolates to your significant other at her place of work. All of her single co-workers (both male and female) will instantly hate her; you do not want to be the reason she has enemies. Also, the bouquet of roses will die on her desk, all of her “friends” will eat her chocolates, and the teddy bear will become the office punching bag. You might as well just flush $150.00 down the toilet.

If you think it’s a good idea to go out to dinner, you’re wrong. Making a 7:00pm reservation at a crowded restaurant after she has worked a long day is not enticing. Either order in her favorite take out or cook something. Yes, gentleman, open the fridge and take out a chicken, not a Bud Light. She will put on her comfiest sweatpants and sweatshirt, and instantly fall in love with you all over again. Also, make sure you have her favorite ice cream in the freezer or the entire night will be an automatic fail.

Lastly, GET A CARD and write something sincere. This is the most thoughtful thing you can possibly do. Be sure to write something other than “I love you,” because you should be saying that to her every day.

Your welcome,