Your favorite New Yorker and VPM’s Sales Manager, Nicole Prechtl, is back to rant about her least favorite thing to do in Manhattan during the most wonderful time of the year: walking along the infamous 34th Street.  Grab yourself some Advil, and we’ll let her take it from here:

“While the movie Miracle on 34th Street might make this section of Manhattan seem magical, I can assure you that it is anything but that. There is nothing magical, wonderful, or joyful about walking down 34th street in December, especially during these two scenarios: walking to Penn Station at 5:00 pm after work and shopping on a Saturday.

Walking to Penn Station at 5:00 pm after work

While the LIRR & NJTransit aren’t the easiest means of transportation when it comes to traveling home during rush hour, most people don’t have a choice. The thought of having to wait an hour if you miss your first train offers more anxiety then one can handle. Therefore, in December you have to leave the office at least 6 minutes earlier than usual in order to make your way safely through all of the people strolling along 34th street, staring in awe at Macy’s window displays. You don’t know when someone’s going to stop dead in their tracks to take a picture; you have to be swift on your feet, ready to dodge selfie sticks, small children, and people dressed in costume as Santa Clause. It’s all so exhausting.

My tip is to avoid the sidewalk completely and walk in the bus lanedodging a bus isn’t nearly as scary as having to dodge a selfie stick.

Shopping on a Saturday in December 

There’s nothing miraculous about shopping on 34th street on a Saturday in December. Period. Unlike this year’s 60 degree weather, it’s usually unbearably cold outside. You find yourself running in and out of stores, sweating and freezing, coat on, coat off— all of that nonsense. Every line in Macy’s is an hour long, but you have no choice but to wait on it to purchase your mother’s brother’s kid a sweater that he doesn’t even want. After a few stores, you’re walking around with 20 bags in your hand while everyone is trying to get everywhere in -4 seconds.

News flash: Christmas falls on the same day every single year. My tip is to plan ahead and go shopping in July.”