Ready to write your New Year’s resolution? VPM’s Sales Manager, Nicole Prechtl, most definitely is. See what she plans to add to her list, below, and make the intelligent decision to not follow suit.
“This year has been quite the year. So many insane things to write about, and so little time. As I was making my list of New Year’s resolutions, I came across a few fun facts about 2016, which I, of course, had something to say about each of them. See below:
Jan 13 “Record Powerball lottery held in America – $1.6 billion, (3 winning tickets).”
You weren’t the winner, but you spent hard earned money trying to be. Better not support your dream cause next year.
Jan 23 “Blizzard delivers record snow to 80 US states, with New York seeing 30 inches of snow.”
Just a reminder that I need to move to the tropics.
Mar 2 “Longest non-stop scheduled commercial flight by distance: Emirates A380 flies 14,200km (8,824 miles) Dubai to Auckland in 17 hours, 15 minutes.”
Great job, now let’s get cars to fly so I don’t have to deal with Manhattan traffic ever again.
Apr 6 “First baby born with DNA from 3 parents through mitochondrial transfer in Mexico.”
Cool story, but call me old fashioned, I think I’d rather just do it one-on-one someday and take my chances.
Jun 12 “At the 70th Tony Awards, “Hamilton” wins 11 awards after a record 16 nominations.”
Guess I should add this to my 2017 to-do list. Noted.
Oct 11 “Samsung announces it will permanently stop production of Note 7 phones after complaints of devices catching fire.”
Really, tech people? You can’t build a working phone by now? Reminder to continue to purchase Apple products, always.
Nov 30 “UNESCO adds Belgian beer to its Cultural Heritage List.”
Awesome. I will fully support this by drinking lots of Belgian beer.
Dec 19 “At least 48 people die after drinking bath lotion in Irkutsk, Siberia, thinking it contained alcohol.”
I know times are tough and the future is unpredictable, but lotion-infused alcohol isn’t the answer. Will continue to stick to bottles of tequila in the new year.
Now that I have a slight idea of my 2017 resolutions, let the New Year’s Eve celebration commence by joining thousands of people to see the ball drop in Times Square. Put on your hats, gloves, and scarves, hold your urine in, and let’s pop some bottles for 2017. God speed to us all!”