New York City is the greatest and strangest city in the entire world. Therefore, it should be a given that the inhabitants of this island are an entirely different breed of people than of those you’d find elsewhere. Full of angst, entitlement, and completely desensitized to their surroundings, here are 4 things only New Yorkers would do in public.
Mistake phone booths for urinals
Ah, the phone booth-urinal. Sooner than later, this compound word will be admitted into the Webster Dictionary— à, la the “Phurinal.” As most people walk around the city with a cell phone, New Yorkers have found a way to make new use of what’s left of the sad, decrepitating phone booths still in existence today. These phone booths have found a new purpose, as they provide the perfect amount of privacy and open space for a quick release.
Ignore all street signals
All traffic signals are vague suggestions to New Yorkers.
If anything, walking signals have found more of a purpose as decorative ornaments hanging on the side of traffic lights rather than actual, helpful signs to abide by. Every New Yorker knows that when the walking signal starts blinking red, you run. It doesn’t matter if you’re going to be extremely late to a meeting or 30 minutes early, or if you’re simply taking a stroll around the block to kill some time during lunch; when you see a flashing red countdown of numbers appear, you run like it’s a live or die situation.
Step in garbage and continue walking
It’s Monday morning. You walk outside of Grand Central and step on a pile of sauerkraut. It’s crunchy, smells horrible, and is all over your freshly polished shoes. What do you do? Nothing. You barely react. Maybe you give it a quick wipe on the edge of the sidewalk, but that’s about the extent of it. New York City’s streets are filthy, and while it would be nice to have a clean shoe, you know you’re bound to step in some kind of crap again soon. Plus, who has the time stop to clean the bottom of their shoe? No one.
Curse out people riding bikes.
Nothing in the world is more irritating to a New Yorker than another New Yorker cutting them off via bike. Do this, and you’ll immediately hear F bombs flying. If you really want to hear a foul mouth, cut a New Yorker off on a Citibike (we apologize in advance for what will happen to you). Furthermore, if you ever attempt in the slightest way to refute a New Yorker’s entitlement to walk on the street, then you may find yourself in a trunk of a car down by the Manhattan Bridge. Just kidding…not really.